Time !

It is never possible to understand the time that flows by , to understand that we are ageing . I for example never feel the burden of age on me except for some added responsibilities . It is difficult to judge time . Sometimes it is the people around you and the surrounding which make you realise the essence of time. You meet your favourite uncle/aunty of your childhood whom it feels you had just met yesterday , but then you see them grown old...older and weaker from the image you had of them , and you realise with a jolt that 'yesterday' was actually 20years. That little girl of your residential complex who was in class-2 that day sends you a friend request ...first you are confused who this pretty young lady is whose name sounds so familiar ...then you realise it is actually that kid who now is a pretty,grown up lady and that in between 15years have passed. While going the almirah in your mother's home...you come across that favourite dress of yours which you had specially made for your school leaving party and almost fought with your mother for it...now you find the design outdated,the colour not so bright anymore but it brings back those fond moments of school life almost like a flood ...the best part of your life which you can visualize by closing your eyes but the dress in your hand tells you that it was a life you have left behind long ago. You decide to visit your childhood home...you remember every detail of that home...every room , every corner...it was only that day you had that big birthday party in that home , that day when father bought you that red cycle and you started learning it in that garden in front of your home....now when you stand in front of the house you see it broken,see it in a real bad shape...you feel your heart in your mouth and realise that the number of years passed in between is not less . Time , has its own way of telling us its value.. but why is it always late(well...almost always!) until we realise its value ??

Innocence !

On our way to the hanging bridge in Takdah we stopped at Teesta Bazar as people in our group wanted to buy some essential things...as every step,every corner,every thing about a mountain in so picturesque I took the opportunity to click some pictures of the houses nearby as the Bazar was in the middle of a beautiful small village....every house there is so pretty...small , wooden colourful houses with flowers and flowers all around,small windows with white lace curtains...seemed just my dream house...I could never ger enough of it , could not decide which angle would be the best to capture its true beauty...and when I was busy trying to figure out this, this little cutie in yellow with her shy elder sister in pink in tow from another equally beautiful house behind me came over ,knocked my shoulder and looked above my shoulder in my phone and asked ,"Aunty ki korchho?"....I turned and looked into the brightest smile ever...it was no less than a sunshine...it obviously made for the sunshine we hardly found in the trip...mountain people like the mountains always welcomes you as if you belonged there forever...it must be their ability to smile always and in whatever situation which is a reason for their long lives....something we really need to learn....to smile...broadly...from the heart !

Inspiration !

I have a small boutique and besides that I am involved in many things which either I wanted to do or which I like to do. Due to my work I meet many people from various fields of work and also from various social status and needless to say all very interesting people. The most interesting person I met is this old lady in the picture...she is Ranu Basu. Mrs. Basu was very good at art,took admission in Calcutta Art College but could not complete her degree there as she got married at a very early age.

She always had this unquenched thirst in her for art , color. In the 70's with her second son few months old she set for Manchester to do a course in textile designing. She won many inter European competitions ,completed her degree and came back and set up a printing unit in the adjacent space along with her beautiful house in South kolkata 40 yrs back. She was the first lady to do so in kolkata. She trained young women from adjacent slums to work in her unit. She in the 80's designed and printed sarees for air hostesses of AIR INDIA and INDIAN AIRLINES. She had a big unit and almost 40 women working for her. Time went,she grew old , her husband died , her sons left home , the women who worked for her some died and some went off to some other place. Now she is 82yrs old...lives alone in that big house with two attendants and gave her unit in lease to someone else...she spends her days sitting in this rocking chair in her long,big veranda and looks at the work that she was an expert at once done by some other people. When I went to meet her,she told me her story and told I don't like the work that they do,they don't know work but I am helpless and don't have the strength anymore, so I keep quiet. When I told what a meaningful and enchanting life she lead...she just smiled and told, " sob ii toh holo,kintu ei buro boyesh ta khub kharap...ekhon sudhu mrittyur jonnyo opekkha....aage koto lok asto,ekhon r keu ase na dekha korte...keu nei kotha bolar. "
I often face questions from many people asking me why I do whatever I do. Why I learn dance , why I learn french , why am I involved with a NGO , why I work for my boutique so hard if I can't run a family ?? The answer,I do everything because I want to,because I like seem not very convincing to people so they ask me the same set of questions again and again. While answering these questions nowadays I often remember the words of Mrs. Basu....if the end is inevitable then why always do things for some gain only...why not do things that may not lead to any gain but will bring a smile at the end of the day ??

Un-answered .

A friend who lives in Bangalore is settled in Mumbai for the last two years due to his study , job...will be back to his city in a couple of months. While talking of cities,life...he told that he is in love with Mumbai...told that he loves Kolkata for nostalgia and Mumbai for life...but don't know why he loves the city he was born in,grew up in and will be back again in two months.But isn't it the same for all of us ?? Do we really know why we love something , some place , someone ?? It is so difficult to tell anyone why yellow is my favourite colour , why I love mountains more , why I love nights more...why I love a person I love. Something we are really attached to most of the time have no reason for the attachment,it is that connection within which makes it so special. In the same way ever wondered why we are more comfortable to share our secrets , sometimes fear with strangers ?? It is like the mirror not looking back which makes you feel so at ease. Life , with all its logical reasoning sometimes leaves you with questions unanswered ...the day we find the answers to all the questions, life will lose its charm I guess.

Reflection !

Humid , clammy evening...disgusting traffic...Jadavpur 8B bus-stand...you are in a fix which to choose, an over crowded bus for home or to stand in a loooong auto line where there is no chance of getting an auto before half an hour atleast...you choose the over crowded bus ....ofcourse, there is no seat, its tough to keep your balance when you have a big bag , phone and a child along with you and the driver decides to push on the brake paddle whenever he wants...but the child with you is growing up fast , he decides to stand keeping a distance so as to he can play the adult,grown up man....and then there is an empty seat,you ask him to go and sit,he promptly replies, "Tumi bosho,ami danrate chai." ...you decide to let him feel 'grown-up'...after sitting, from a distance you see the proud expression on his face , the expression which tells now I am grown up, I can manage....you smile and instantly remember feeling this same feeling many many years ago when you were his age and ever got a chance to do something independently...how children make you live your childhood once more...how they make you feel the same feeling once over again !! :)

' Liar !! '

They got in touch after almost 20yrs through social media...she sees that he now has established himself and is doing really well , the reason which made her walk away from his life and he looks really cool now....they are to meet today and she is really apprehensive as she knows she looks at least 10yrs older than her age , she has put on weight and is not in her best of spirit...with butterflies in her stomach she meets him and she cannot take her eyes off him...to get over her nervousness she starts telling how happy she is , how lucky , about her 'perfect' marriage , how she never could have asked for more...after some time she realises that he hasn't spoken a word yet and is looking at her with a smile on his lips...she stops and asks him to say something...and he says, "Time could not change you, you look the same as you were 20yrs back." With a lump in her throat she tells to herself....liar !!

Perspective !

He went to his favorite cafe after many days. As he entered he realised the cafe is unusually empty....only 2 or 3 people sitting here and there. It made him happy immediately...he was hoping to spend some time with himself alone in his favorite place sans crowd and chorus. He saw his favorite table,the corner table beside the window is occupied , so he settles down in his second favorite table beside the glass door,next to those three steps to the door. After settling down he waits for the waiter to come to him to take his usual order of 1 expresso and 1 chicken sandwich. He takes time and look around the cafe ...it has been many days he last visited...life has been really busy in between...he had to work in the weekends as well. He remembers he need to catch up with some friends whose calls he did not receive nor call them back...they must be really angry , need to call Maa...she must be worried...maybe be he will visit home coming weekend. In between his thoughts suddenly he looks at his favorite table , in the corner...beside the window , and he realises he is looking into a pair of most beautiful eyes he has ever seen. Big black eyes...as if two deep pools of clear water. How lucky ! the girl was looking straight at him...he also sees a slight smile on her lips. He smiles back. Now he looks at the girl beyond the eyes. He sees a simple looking girl , simply dressed , with flowing long hair and the most beautiful eyes. He suddenly feels happy...feels maybe his favorite cafe may turn out to be his lucky one too. Then he starts feeling a bit uncomfortable...why is this girl staring...a bit shamelessly ?? She keeps on looking and also smiling...he is by now sure that this girl is not as simple as she looks...something is wrong...intentions are not proper. Suddenly he sees the girl getting up and walking towards him with her eyes on him....by this time he feels really nervous and a bit angry too...he could feel beads of sweat on his forhead. He decides he will be really rude to the girl when she comes to talk to him and will be a bit loud so others in the cafe also gets to hear...he doesn't want to tarnish his reputation ! By now the girl has almost reached the steps beside him...still looking at him...he could feel the blood in his ears and the anger inside him mounting up. Suddenly she stops, with her eyes still on him...he is sure, now is the moment when this girl whom he thought very simple is going to say something...something not very decent. Then he hears it...hear an old female voice calling from behind , " Stay there Priya,there are steps in front. Let me come." He doesn't understand...he looks on and then he sees an old woman,about the age of his mother coming from the cash counter. The old lady comes,takes the girl's hand,turn her towards the glass door and help her get down the steps out of the cafe. He remains fixed in his seat,unable to move,unable to speak,unable to think...only he hears an old female voice rebuking, "...why did you get up,you would have hurt yourself by falling down the steps if I didn't turn in time....naughty girl !!" ...and with the closing of the glass door behind them he hears the fading giggling sound of the girl very similar to the the sound of the stream running down a mountain.