Motherhood.

When a friend had his second child he was asked to describe his feelings now that he is a father for the second time and as we all had only one child...he very candidly said that you don't need to prepare for the affection for the second time,it already exists. So true. When I became a mother and I was shown my baby for the first time, I was surprised to not feel what I read in books or watched in movies...that flood of emotions, those instant tears filling your eyes...in fact for the first one month I was completely dazed and in utter confusion...didn't know how to hold the baby, when is the proper time to feed, those sleepless nights, those endless wailing...I was sure something is wrong with me...why am I not feeling those natural feelings which the whole world experiences ?? After two months on my way home I saw a young mother begging with her sleeping child in her lap at a traffic signal....instantly I saw my son's face in that child and felt a lump at my throat...a feeling I experienced for the first time. I realized like extreme sadness or happiness motherhood also takes time to sink in and once it does it grows...an emotion which has no boundary. Motherhood brought a side in me who always has tears in her eyes whenever something unwanted and tragic happens to children either in fiction or real....a person who always either buys food for those children in the street or sometimes give money knowing it's maybe not the right thing to do. Motherhood or parenthood brings out a self in you who surprises you everytime. Beauty of motherhood is to find a person in you whom you never knew existed and to find the real meaning of selfless love !!

Struggle !

An elderly friend once said,"I cannot laugh like before anymore. Whatever happens,however funny,when everybody around I see laughing I realise I cannot laugh like before anymore." Some reality !! Arranging for one's daily three meal and a roof above is a struggle , fulfilling some materialistic demand is also a struggle , struggle is to get a job , a promotion , a good break , another car in the family , another house , a vacation in the foreign land , to be known , to be famous , to be aprreciated , to have enough bank balance....we are all struggling. But does struggle only ends here ?? What about that friend of mine who has a perfectly stable life but who cannot laugh anymore as once he used to ?? what about that person who has all these but has a loved one home with an incurable disease or a person who lives in a palace all alone ?? what about when you have to let go the person you really love for whatever reason or to deal with the loss of someone really close to you ? Struggle is actually to be content and to be happy in the state we are in. Struggle is to accept ourselves as we are. Struggle is to be able to laugh as we used to when we were younger. Struggle is to be able to do what makes us happy. Struggle is to find our root and to stay attached to it. Struggle is also to be able to cry when we are sad . Struggle is to find a person who wants to listen to you , struggle is to be able to control the restlessness inside. Struggle is to give wings to our dreams , struggle is to be able to stand up after falling down . Don't go by the appearance or the number of cars or only one's lifestyle...try to see through the eyes...you'll find the struggle deep inside !